A Summary of my Views on Abortion and Contraception

Currently Listening To: Tear in Your Hand by Tori Amos

Why not just have a government official come to all my gynaecologist appointments too? The government needs keep their god damn hands out of my vagina! I will decide what to do if I get pregnant under whatever circumstance. If I'm about to die while giving birth what the hell good will that do for the poor kid? It's.none.of.your.business.

I'll be writing about this, a longer, elaborated rant when I get on the subject later.

Why America is Totally Fucked

This is my list of 21 reasons that explains why American society is totally fucked. Period.

1. 
   
   We re-elected George Bush.


2. 
   
   Questioning your country is deemed unpatriotic.


3. 
   
   The government's domain suddenly includes my vagina.


4. 
   
   In the modeling world size eight women are considered plus-size.


5. 
   
   Abstinence is considered a realistic "solution."


6. 
   
   The Evangelists are no longer considered insane.


7. 
   
   Religion has a place in our science classes.


8. 
   
   People still think Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11.


9. 
   
   Paris Hilton is a bigger story than our energy crisis.


10. 
    
    Our current administration thinks allowing torture is a great idea.


11. 
    
    People haven't figured out Wal-Mart is evil yet.


12. 
    
    People thought the War in Iraq was a good idea.


13. 
    
    Some people still think the War in Iraq is a good idea.


14. 
    
    People think Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson actually do things for black people.


15. 
    
    Anne Coulter hasn't been killed yet.


16. 
    
    People have the time to get worked up over an exposed nipple or the word "fuck."


17. 
    
    We compare the War in Iraq to WWII.


18. We "protect" the institution of marriage from people who want to get married (totally stole that from Roy Zimmerman.)
    
19. There is still a form of Reefer madness present.
20. People refuse to acknowledge that China is kicking our ass to the curb.


21. 
    
    You can be impeached for lying about fucking a woman but you can't be impeached for fucking over an entire country.

Pro-Ana Groups & Thinspiration

Currently Listening to: Saeglopur by Sigur Ros

Currently Watching: Anderson Cooper on CNN

Remember that Anorexia Bulimia helpline commercial I mentioned a few posts ago in the post about food? Well, I have been recently browsing through the comments in response to it. Most of the comments are the type one would expect, talking about how creepy it was, how the song was a great affect, how it perfectly displays the nature of the disorder and such. However, I began to also come across comments that were talking about the girl in the mirror was fat. I won't even get into that, I was pissed. But I clicked on the links of some of the people who were saying this and linked to it I found numerous footage of fashion shows and "Thinspiration" bits. People who create Thinspiration pieces are generally a part of Pro-ana and Pro-mia groups.

For those who are not familiar with these terms, I'll fill you in. Pro-ana and Pro-mia are groups dubbed after term of endearments for the eating disorders anorexia and bulimia. They argue that these eating disorders are lifestyle choices rather than illnesses. They create a support group, not on the road to recovery, but on the road to starvation, skeletal bodies, and eventually death. They give little tips on how to trick the weights at the doctors office so they'll think your healthy, how to hide it from people, and other things of that nature. Many of them have the philosophy that "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels " and "Starve me beautiful." These groups make "Thinspiration" bits, slide shows containing pictures of really skinny models as a goal or obese people as an anti-goal. Like the rest of there little darlings, they give thinspiration pieces a little nickname as well: thinspo.

Though I try to keep in mind the Anorexia is a mental illness and that these people truly believe that skeletal is beautiful, the first time I looked at a Thinspiration slide show I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to severely hurt whoever created it. It is one thing to suffer from a disease, it is another to glorify this disease, and make it into something it's not. In these thinspo piece they talk about their pain, as though people are supposed to feel sorry for them, yet they are inflicting it upon themselves (supposedly.) It's easy to sympathize with someone suffering from a terrible disease, but it's a whole other dimension when you want to be in denial and glorify it as a twisted lifestyle.

I'm not going to deny that I take a level of personal offense. I'm not skinny (I belong in the Renaissance) and though I know it isn't directed in any way towards me, I can't help but take it almost as though they are calling me fat. Then there is, of course, the matter that they are promoting this, trying to make it sound glamorous. It's disgusting. They totally disregard the medical and scientific aspects of eating disorders (like creationists are of science) while wallowing in self-pity. It's people like them that aid these girls in hiding their problems from the world and feed into their psychological delusion so they can avoid getting help. Indirectly, they are being assistants to suicide.

Not that our environmental factors don't contribute. We live in a society where was Nicole Richie chubby (God, she looks terrible now) and where every model on the runway is a stick. Not skinny (even skinny women have some form of curves) but twigs. Some designers use unhealthy models because they're like angular hangers, nothing actually needs to fit on them, makes their clothing look better. We live in a sad world when a model who is size 8 is considered a plus size model and they sport clothing that are for size 14. MaraJoara used a variety of women during one of their swim suit fashion shows (and from the pictures I've seen they were all quite beautiful and for once they used a variety of women, including skinny women, not twigs) and was criticized for it. In the fashion model world you're a fatass if you're above a size 2. It's ridiculous.

If you want to read an amusing blog entry on the MaraJoara fashion show: http://pandagon.net/2006/09/09/quit-eating-goddammit-vogue-magazine-is-supposed-to-be-hefty-not-the-women-in-it/

I have, however, seen spirited testimonies from recovered eating disorder victims, that give strong messages to the disgusting nature of these groups that glorify these terrible illnesses. Users such as eniwekwe talk about their personal experiences in a straightforward, blunt manner that can speak to people and save them. I thank God for that.

Good lord. We've gone from beauty being Botticelli's Venus, to Marilyn Monroe, to...Twiggy? Ideal beauty through the ages never ceases to amaze me or (nowadays) disgust me for that matter. But that is going to be a whole other post!

A Poetry Experiment

Knickknacks on the Shelf of Life

There is a world
from which heaven descends.
There is a dream
from which passion begins.
And there is a truth
from which life ends.
But among these things
stands the paramount sin.
There is you.

Every now and then I enjoy experimenting with my own writing style. Generally, I like to adorn (sometimes overly so) my writing, especially my poems, so I like mix it up and make my poetry a little stark on occasion. Purposefully simple words can convey a message of feelings that are totally unadulterated and that is what I decided I wanted after writing the first to lines. I know it isn't anything remarkable, even anything new, but I would love some constructive feedback if anyone could manage to pull it out of them for something so simplistic. Thanks.

Society's View of Sexuality

Currently Listening To: Ancestors by Bjork (haha. How appropriate)

Finally I am doing a blurb about Victorian sexual morals, abstinence, health classes across America, and other topics encompassed by the title.

I'm not going to go on a rant about how ridiculous the Victorian sexual morals were (ok, maybe a little) but I will be talking about how much their views of sexuality, especially female sexuality, have impacted our modern outlook on carnal pleasure. Victorians are perhaps the most notorious prudes and when their views on sex are brought up, most people get the same cliche image as the person sitting next to them. I will be basing my commentary on a great deal of slightly altered, but nonetheless, cliches.

For those who are totally clueless the Victorian moral code was very tight-laced and demanded an obscene amount of sexual restraint. Sex was only to be performed in a marriage and only for the reason of conceiving a child. A lady seeking sexual pleasure was a deviant. According to their morals a woman had sex with her husband only for his pleasure and procreation. Society's medical knowledge of female sexuality was so incredibly skewed at the time that they believed a woman was entirely indifferent to sex. Contributing to this was their overall lack of knowledge when it came to the female anatomy, thinking that sexual pleasure should result from the stimulation of the vagina (which is a natural train of thought I suppose, but wrong.) I was watching the show History of Sex and the told the story of man who refused to have sex with his bride because she had pubic hair and the only nude woman he had ever seen before was the depictions of women in old nude statues (which obviously don't have pubic hair) so he thought his wife abnormal. And if you want to see an example of the most extreme kind of Victorian prudishness look as the creation of the table skirt. Some believed that if men even saw table legs they would be turned on, so table skirts were invented to cover the (indecent I suppose) legs. Masturbation was the ultimate taboo. From the Victorian era and beyond solo sex was blamed for causing/worsening diseases, inducing insanity, and that old religious claim of causing blindness. Medically autoeroticism was dismissed as unhealthy. Inventions were created to prevent the practice, such as chastity belts and in extreme situations some would have their genitals removed.

Remnants of their moral code can still be seen in modern ideas of virtue. Sex itself hasn't really become a taboo unless in discussion or addressing the youth. Masturbation, however, is still extremely taboo. Not so much for men, but for women it still is. Solo sex is perfectly normal, even people who are married do it, a significant amount of women can only reach orgasm when doing it that way. But society and especially religion, continues to make it into a big deal. Certain religions still claim that it's bad, can cause impotence, and blah blah blah. Then there is, of course, the double standard of sexuality between the sexes themselves, which has unfortunately infected me as well. A woman sleeps around she is a whore, a man sleeps around he is...well...a guy. Before this starts sounding like a feminist rant let me just say I am not a girl power type of woman, I'm all for humanity as a whole and ultimate fairness and by observing conversations I have noticed these two trends as far as women are concerned.

The Christian view of sex has always bothered me. What makes sex dirty? Yes, it is the intimate sharing of your body and there will always be a realm of good taste but honestly...premartial sex is not sinful. If you are in love with the person, you are in love with them,marriage or not. Everyone should exercise a great deal of restraint when dealing with animalistic urges but ultimately we are a sexual speices. A marriage will have a difficult time functioning if you go on your honeymoon and find out the happy couple has absolutely no sexual chemistry. For the sake of a working marriage I think premartial sex should be cleaned of its negative image. It doesn't necessarily mean fucking some random guy you met at the bar.

That isn't to say American society, especially people, women in particular, haven't begun to swing the other way. So far the other way in fact, that the realm of sensuality and good taste has given way to pure smut.

Most importantly, the youth of America is shielded from the health aspect of sex and its mechanics. At least shielded from it in an educational setting (after all, there is no lack of porn.) Our educational system does not do a very good job when it comes to preparing a youth for their entrance into their sexuality. My freshmen year of high school I remember wondering why we were not allowed to be taught about the exterior of the female genitals. This leads to self-teaching, which can possibly lead to having the wrong facts and God knows where that could end up leading when it comes to sex.

Our health classes in America are a joke and it is this remaining gasp factor about the human body and the pleasures it allows us to feel that hinders general knowledge. I believe that aside from bad parenting and just plain old primal urges it is the abstinence philosophy that contributes to the overtly sexual youth. The abstinence program isn't realistic. After puberty people are ready to go for reproduction. Women would die young and have children very early back in our primitive days. Though that isn't the case anymore our bodies haven't gotten the message yet. Teenagers have bodies that want to have sex and as they begin to enter the dating world their chances of having sex become more likely. Why not teach them to have sex when they feel they are ready and how to prevent be a father or mother to a child or how to avoid contracting AIDs? Abstinence is idealistic, an unrealistic picture of human sexuality painted by parents who can't stand the thought of their children growing up to become sexually active. They want to wait until the last possible moment (their offspring's marriage) to accept their child as a sexual being. It's understandable of course, but not at all practical.

People need to start looking at sex from a scientific point of view when it comes to the education of our youth.

NOTE: Please excuse the bad writing. I was feeling lazy.

On Breast Enhancement

Currently Listening to: Piano Man by Billy Joel
Currently Watching: NYPD Blue

The more I read about breast enhancement the more I have to wonder why someone would want to get the procedure. First off, let me say that I have no right to have an opinon on this. Women on my mother's side have a certain body type that wouldn't be needing breast augmentation and my appearence takes after my mother's side. However, I'm very concerned about the whole thing, only because I have to wonder why on earth so many people want the surgery.

Anyway, I'm sure the obvious reason for women getting breast implants is that they aren't satisfied with their bust size. That I have to question in and of itself. Many of the girls who don't like having small boobs have slim frames in the first place, so it would only be natural that their breasts would be smaller. I hate seeing these women with near ballerina body structures get these C cup/D cup implants. I don't think they realized how unproportional and fake it looks. That isn't the only thing that contributes to a fake appearence, considering some women just have big boobs naturally so it doesn't always look fake. That is just something that contributes to the fake appearence but what really makes it look unnatural is all the rest of the traits I'm about to list.

Sometimes breast augmentation can result in the most aesthetically hideous results. Many breast implants have the weirdest, most unnatural shape I have ever seen. Natural breasts gently slope to a roundness then curve back under, while fake ones are shaped so perfectly they look like they've been restrained in the world's strongest push-up bra for way too long and got stuck that way. Most breasts are slightly uneven...fake ones almost never are. Sometimes there can be skin rippling and large, noteable scarring. The kinds of incisons they make where they have to take the nipple off can leave signifigant scarring and the nipples could even be placed back on the breast irregularly. I think the most repulsive one is placement on the chest. If a comestic surgeon puts it up too high, it look ridiculous. Then there is always the factor they stick straight out...all the time. I hate seeing a 40 year old who has gotten the surgery and is more perky than a 20 year old. It's creepy.

Then, of course, there is the most important reason, the health risks. There could be a loss of sensation in the nipple and breasts entirely or sensetivity could dramatically increase. Then of course there is the possibility of rupture, which I thought sounded most terrifying out of all the health risks I've read. Sometimes the procedure can result in incredibly serious, like excessive loss of breast tissues. Though there is little chance of tissue necrosis happening in a patient it still happens and shows just how serious breast augmentation surgery is. Sometimes the implants can even interfere with cancer screenings! After reading about the risks, even if they can be dramatized, I had to wonder why someone would want to take all these risks for purely cosmetic reasons.

A lot of these women don't realize what they're getting into when they get the surgery. Sure, they listen to their doctor and recgonize the medical risks but I mean the changes. Most of these women think that if they have bigger boobs they'll automatically look amazing in anything or it will solve all their beefs with their own appearence. I'm here to say that such an idea is pure rubbish. When you're flat-chested fitting into things (especially those atrocious 80's clothing all the designers are making nowadays) is a cakewalk (or so it seems, I really wouldn't know) compared to when you have boobs, at least. I can't tell you how many times I have walked out of a store totally pissed off because the shirts were all made for people who don't have to wear a bra or just don't look right. Bra shopping is twice as hard because only those pricey but good quality Victoria's Secret bras will hold you up correctly. It can be a nightmare sometimes if you have little to no patience for shopping (and that would be me and no, I'm not trying to make it sound tragic, just making a point.) If women are going to get breast enchancement they better have the ability to change their style to conform to their new body type unless they want to wear unflattering clothing.

Though it is no one's choice but their own I don't think it's a good idea. If you got it, you got it, if you don't, you don't. I'm not going to go out and get a butt implant because my butt is small. I'll deal. Unless it is interfereing with your health or you are disfigured I really think its ridiculous to get cosmetic surgery. But, like I said, ultimately it is their choice and who gives a shit what I think?

Finally, I have to say this when it comes to breast enhancement in general: Don't you people have anything better to do with your money then get fake boobs?

But then again, I suppose you could counter with: Don't I have anything better to talk about then fake boobs?

The Issue of Food

Currently Reading: Beyond Infinity by Gregory Benford
Currently Watching: Mrs. Doubtfire

I'm a fairly picky eater, I'll admit. It isn't as though I asked for psychotically quirky tastebuds but I do feel bad when I don't want to eat something that I don't like yet there are starving children in Africa who, if given the chance, would eat from America's overflowing garbage cans.

Despite having a larger frame of body I don't eat that much. I have always been more of a snacker. If I eat a meal the portion is almost always too big for me. Hell, I can hardly eat a small cone of ice cream without feeling full! Lately I have been starving to death because we haven't gone grocery shopping. We have almost nothing in our fridge. The only thing I can really make is a cake without icing and buttered pasta.

Therefore, the search for food continues. I would walk to Food Lion or something but in weather like this I don't think it would be very smart:


Among many, many other things I would love to take a cooking class. I wouldn't really like to go into the culinary arts for a career but I think it would be a nice ability to have cooking. My friends seemed to appreciate my cookies and I have another friend who makes brownies for everyone's birthday. They're pretty damn good I hear. Aside from being a humanist and simply wanting to improve myself I think it would be nice to be able to make a nice meal/snack for my friends/boyfriend ( <--- EVENTUALLY.) Something aside from cookies and a simple cake. It's a nice sentiment either way I suppose.

Too bad I don't have some good oil and garlic. I could make a simple pasta dish, maybe add some tomatos (if we had any.) I feel like a single college student who's broke. All well, I'm not in a third world country, I should be thankful that I even have a bag of honey mustard pretzels.

There was a very interesting study conducted by some university or organization (or something of that sort) that found men who were hungry found larger women (within limits) more attractive than skinnier women. However, when they were well fed they appreciated the beauty of the skinnier woman more. Perhaps that is why third-world countries often admire more buxom women as opposed to the well-fed United States, who seem to idolize women who are sometimes unhealthy looking. I was watching a commerical for an anorexia and bulima help-line where she saw herself in the mirror as a larger girl. She really was not large at all, I thought her healthy looking, rather pretty really. Then again, most people would agree, it's only the trashy factions of celebrity media that worship women like Paris Hilton, who has no brain and the ugliest pelvis I've ever seen.

While we are on the topic of body image, I wil comment that the ideal male body image is nearly impossible to achieve I think. Really, who has time to work out at the gym and get those muscles? Who wants a man whose focus is constantly going to the gym? Yes, a lean male torso is a beautiful thing but seriously...non-muscular men are just as beautiful. I'm no where near perfect, why should I expect that of others? We seem to concentrate on the impossible female body image when men have a great deal of pressures as well. Enjoy life, enjoy food. The key is to avoid excess. If you watch portion sizes and balance them with excercise then most people can retain a certain weight without going on these extravagant, ridiculous diets. It's simple enough.

Food has a surprising number of issues surrounding it from abundance of food to lack thereof.

Juries and Irrational Stigmas

Currently Watching: Body of Evidence

Currently Reading: Beyond Infinity by Gregory Benford

Currently Listening to: Cantara by Dead can Dance

I hope I never get accused of anything serious, such as murder or rape (haha), and not because of the normal (and rather obvious) reasons. I really don't want to be judged by a jury of my peers. My peers are idiots.

I watched an episode of American Justice covering the case of David Dowaliby, one of the most famous American child-murder cases next to the JonBenét Ramsey mystery, certainly one of te mose famous in Chicago. For those who don't know much about the case here's a little summary: Seven year old Jaclyn Dowaliby was reported missing after her parents had woken up and found she had vanished. It was assumed that she had been abducted, the main suspects being Jaclyn's biological father and the schizophrenic uncle (Rob.) However, both had an alibi. Jaclyn's father was in prison at the time (pretty solid alibi XD) and the uncle had been somewhere (I don't know the details.) Therefore, the police started pursueing the possibility that the parents had done it. Four days after she had been reported missing they discovered her highly decayed body with a rope wrapped around her neck. The police charged David and Cynthia Dowaliby (Stepfather and biological mother) of first degree murder. The trial was a freak show from the start. The only witness they had against the pair was a man with a history of mental illness saying he had seen a person with David's nose-structure near the site where Jaclyn's body was later found on the night of her disappearence. Of course, the witness saw this person in a parking lot from a great distance on a moonless night without any streetlights. Pretty shakey. The prosecution showed gruesome photographs of Jaclyn's decomposed body to the jury, claiming they revealed something of signifigance to evidence (which everyone knew was bullshit,) obviously attempting to influence them. The real madness went on after the jury began contemplating the David's fate. The forewoman told journalists that the jury's decision was greatly based on a photograph of the Dowaliby bedroom where large dents could be seen on the door, assuming from the marks that the household was a violent one and that David had a terrible temper. The dents were not pointed out by the prosecution or the defense and were of no signifigance at all. They had been there before the Dowaliby family had moved in.

Guilty, not guilty? Think of human stupidity and guess which one they selected. Luckily, David's conviction was reversed and all murder charges brought against him were dropped two years later.

That jury didn't sound like a very intelligent lot to me, especially the forewoman. Many juries seem like they didn't happen to get the cream of the crop if you know what I mean. America has a general population of some incredibly judgemental, vengeful people, at least the way I view it. We deserve the title. Our death penality sentences are through the roof and I swear to God when I watch these crime shows my father is always putting on the juries will sometimes convict a man very harshly with very little evidence brought against him. Innocent 'til prooven guilty is bullshit and we all know it, especially in cases that involve sexual assault or molestation. Once you are accused, even if its just some bitchy teenager who didn't like that her teacher was failing her and the case is cropped immediately, that accusation will always be there hovering around them like a disease, and people will treat them like the plague (that's not to sa no one has been let off when they should have been convicted). Look at the Duke Lacross case! They had nothing against them except for the word of the dancer (whose partner even said she was full of it) and the mindless prosecutor (asshole Nifong) talking about how their DNA was all over the bathroom. Well, gee, imagine that...IT WAS THEIR BATHROOM. Yet we won't convict O.J Simpson, who had evidence against him piled up as high as a trash heap in a landfill? Guess he was lucky to have practically decapitated his ex in L.A where the police have a history of being abusive, racist idiots who can't not tamper with evidence. I swear to God, the L.A.P.D fucks up everything. Any microscopic shred of doubt I might have had that Simpson had gotten away with murder went poof as soon as I heard about that If I did it book. I hope that bastard drops dead.

People eat that shit up until it blows back up in their faces because people don't seem to possess the (what must be pathetically called) skill to think about evidence (or lack thereof) that is placed in front of them. I could have basically told you about what is going on in Iraq right now when the war first started but people have no form of foresight anymore (perhaps they never did.)

People are fucking stupid.